apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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