So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
