So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
