sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
