I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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