Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
