I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
