Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
