The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
