i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
