my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
