I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
