They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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