a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
