My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
