I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
