this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
honey bunches of taint.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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