Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
