Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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