we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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