I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
