ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the day after is always just damage control
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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