i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
