I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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