If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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