He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
