im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
