I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
