I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
