you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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