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  I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.

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• Opt out of the full body scans so TSA has to pat you down, and be sure to smile the entire time

  Submitted by parsons41286 on May 2, 13 at 2:33pm

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• Tell them that's not a gun in your pocket, you're just happy to see them

  Submitted by hehehAlllrighttt on May 2, 13 at 7:38pm

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• "I shall alert the media."

  Submitted by kin_in_in on May 2, 13 at 2:06pm

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• Careful, this thing is loaded.

  Submitted by hogfish on Sep 4, 13 at 9:24pm

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• Was there a man in a black hat selling you Viagra?

  Submitted by GetOffMyLawn on May 3, 13 at 3:58am

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  • Excellent xkcd reference, sir.

    Submitted by DerKarismatisch on Sep 14, 13 at 8:27pm

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• You might as well make your Freedom Fondles as fun as possible.

  Submitted by fly_bi_night on May 4, 13 at 12:47pm

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• Who da fuq says "erection"?

  Submitted by Sancho69 on May 3, 13 at 6:28am

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  • Grown-ups do.

    Submitted by windexmermaid on May 3, 13 at 11:45am

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