kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
