We should be called the Road Head Warriors
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
