He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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