My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
