Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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