Barsexuality is the new black.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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