im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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