just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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