I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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