OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
