i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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