We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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