Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
