Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
