I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
