well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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