Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
