Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
