I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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