ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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