I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
