i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
