u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
